Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
