I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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