Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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