Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
