1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
