Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
