Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
