I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
