i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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