I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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