Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I AM VODKA MAN
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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