Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
