Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i barfeds in our rink
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
