I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
