if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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