I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
