i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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