Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
