can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
