i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
