Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
