let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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