Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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