i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
