i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
