It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
