can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
