no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
