So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
