I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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