i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
