carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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