Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
