so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
