ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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