I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The uberlube is also flammable
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
