Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
