Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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