I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
