About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
