Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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