i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
