ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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