How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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