And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
