i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
