So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How does one acquire holy water?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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