I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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