I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you never un-have a 4some
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
