maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
