I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
