We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
