Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
