YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
