if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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