Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize