I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
