i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
