I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's blow job season.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
