So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
